When I was in college, I’ve always thought of myself as an independent woman. I especially felt this when I started working and had a place of my own. I had to fend for myself, get my own food, spend my own money. I could go wherever I want and do whatever I want.
My concept of marriage was two people committing to live together and have babies. That’s it. I didn’t want to live the stereotypical life of a wife, one that entails a woman staying home to keep the home in order. In this day and age of technological advancement, women should not be confined to household management. She and her husband should have the same share of household burden. After all, we’re not in the 18th century anymore.
That was me before getting married. So did that change after the wedding?
In a way, yes.
Of course there are limits to what I can do now. I can’t just go out and have drinks whenever I want. In decision-makings, it has to be a partnership; I can’t decide on my own without considering what my husband wants. And I most certainly can’t date or flirt with anyone. That’s disrespectful and WRONG.
That doesn’t mean, though, that my life is dictated by my husband. I can do what I want as long as it upholds and preserves the sanctity of our marriage. I can chase my own dreams, especially career aspirations. I still want to hold a job in a corporate setting and not be confined to managing the household. And I can. What changed is how I view the life of a wife.
I used to think that a wife living to serve her husband, to be at his beck and call 24/7, is not a way to live one’s life. Now that I’m married, I realized that there is nothing wrong with being there for my husband 24/7. All my life, I saw that part of a wife’s life as something negative, like it’s a burden. In reality, it’s not.
I am there for my husband 24/7 because I love him, because I committed to live with him through anything. That may entail cooking and cleaning the house, but hey I do those things for myself, too. I don’t want to live in a dump, and I want hot meals after all.
I assumed this role because I love my husband, not because I am living in the standards of society. I am proud that I am domesticated. I can cook and keep the house in order. And, soon, I can become a career woman in New York.
This is not a stereotypical life of a wife. I might say that I’m living like a “superwoman”, but hey that’s just me.