Whirlwind two months

The last two months were filled with many stressful work days, diaper changes, peekaboos, nursery rhymes, one movie date, some mental self-care and catching up (in person!) with a cousin from overseas.

What I want to highlight is the mental self-care.

I can say that I’m comfortable in my own skin. I can sit by myself with just a book or do chores without TV or music blaring in the background. I know my limitations and flaws, and I’m ok with them (even though I’m too hard on myself sometimes). I don’t have a lot of physical insecurities. These enable me to answer “Yes” if I were asked “Do you accept who you are?”

But when I look inward, when I go deeper in my thoughts and eventually realize my thought process during an especially difficult situation, can I honestly and confidently answer “Yes” to the same question?

Honestly? I don’t know.

When I think about reflecting on what thoughts go through my head, why those thoughts come in my head, I start to worry.

Nah, I’m going to be honest.

I start to become afraid. I’m afraid of what I might discover of myself. I’m afraid that my perception of self is a contradiction of my deepest thoughts.

I’m afraid that the person I know now is just a perception of self, and not the real me.

On a happier note, I’m actually looking forward to getting to know myself again. I haven’t been in touch with my own head in such a long time. With all the changes that has taken place in my life in the last 5 years, it’s about time I reconnect with myself.

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4 thoughts on “Whirlwind two months

  1. i know her!! 🙂 And she’s a great, strong, loving person who I adore to no end. Hugss and my dearest sister!

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  2. No burden is too heavy when it’s given in love and carried in love. Do not be afraid for God is always at your side… Offer everything to HIM, whenever you’re weary… God bless you always my dear superwoman.

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