The power of regret

Regret can be easily thrown in a conversation. Sometimes the actual word, but most of the time the message if a statement, like so:

“I should have done that.”

“I regret not going.”

“If only I did something about it.”

“I wish I had enough free time.”

I’m not saying wishing or aspiring for something more than what I have now is bad! I have my own wishes and goals, too. But when those wishes stop you from living your life in the moment, that’s when they turn ugly, into regret, which holds a very potent power that can destroy you and/or your relationships if you don’t turn it around.

When I became a mother and kept seeing pictures of my friends frolicking in beaches and other exotic destinations, one thing that kept crossing my mind was – “I wish we had traveled more before having this baby. Or go on that honeymoon we never went to.”

You might think that’s an ordinary statement, but not to me when it made me think of how long ago it was (or so it seems) when my husband and I went out on a date, or just simply stay home and watch TV, or just do our own thing quietly together at home.

Suddenly, that one statement was turning into regret. And the scary consequence of that one statement is a crack on an otherwise solid bond with my first-born.

Had I let that one statement (more like a thought in my head, really) fester, I might have ruined this one opportunity of enjoying our first-born’s infancy (and, now, toddlerhood). She’s a baby and a toddler only once, after all! I can’t let this time pass by without relishing each squeal of delight, each tantrum which oftentimes is easily resolved by my boobs, each skill learned, each mess she makes and seeing how she wants to clean it up. If I let that regret stay, I’ll wake up one day and hear my first-born tell me she’s too grown up for cuddles.

Those seemingly ordinary thoughts can grow into something much worse. It helps to be more mindful of ourselves, of our deeply rooted thoughts, especially those that we think about ourselves. When we catch it before it festers, we’ll be able to live our life to the fullest.

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